The Balcony

And there she stood.
In the balcony, anxious.
Waiting for what was to come, but didn’t.
Waiting for what she, deep down, felt that wouldn’t.
And she was tired.
Tired physically from standing there all this time. But more so mentally.
Because even before she stood out in the open, her mind was already at work.
Thinking. Wondering.
And she wanted to leave, to stop thinking. But she couldn’t. What if?
What if it finally came?
What if it happened?
She’d miss it then. And she worried.
She worried that her legs would give up before her mind did.
She worried that in a moment, as she turned her head, things changed.
Is this even worth it? She whispered to herself.
Probably not. But it might. How could she know?
She wanted to quit, but how could she?
How do you change after so long?
How do you suddenly stop?